Starman

A very bright light has left our home, and is now shining from Heaven. It is with profound sadness that I must report that my precious Starman has passed from this life.
After having a CT of his neck last Tues. that seemed to give us good news, he had an upset stomach due to the anesthesia, and didn't want to eat. We struggled to get food, water, and pain meds into him, finally finding that he would willingly eat small amounts of chicken breast and brown rice. He had been eating better yesterday and this morning, but was still in obvious pain from his neck. Mid-morning today, he took his pain pill in a lump of cheese, and was eating some chicken and broth, when he suddenly turned his head and opened his mouth very widely. I thought he was choking, but instead he began seizing violently. My poor baby! It lasted several minutes, and left him dazed and disoriented. After he had settled, I had to go tend to the other dogs for a few minutes, and when I was letting them out, he came into the kitchen and went out, too, on shaky legs. I went with him and lifted him down the stairs, but he could barely stand. He started hobbling around in circles, turning his left feet under and looking very upset, then he started to stumble even more. I got him back onto his pillow beds, and tried to get him to stay, but he wanted to follow me, so I had to help him and keep the others from bumping him as I got them put back to bed so I could call our vet.
Long story short: vet thought Starman must have thrown a clot from his neck injury, and had a stroke or embolism, with resulting brain damage. He had no sight in his left eye, and was very impaired on his left side, front and rear legs not working well at all. He also seemed to be upset, confused, probably in pain. He would lay against me and moan, then try to get up. If I let him try to stand, he kept turning to the right and bumping into things. I kept thinking maybe he needed to go out, but when I took him outside, he could barely stand, and would stumble if he tried to move. He just looked at me, so confused and questioning, and I was devastated that I couldn't do more to help him.
When Bill was able to join us, our vet basically told us we could do a bunch of tests that would involve sedation again - which I didn't want to put him through, since his tummy still wasn't straightened out from the last time - and maybe we would get a definite diagnosis as to exactly what had happened, but there was no hope of improvement for Starman. He was getting worse a little at a time in the hours since the event, and the vet thought there would probably be more grand mall seizures, with more damage each time. Knowing what a special guy Starman was to us, he told us that the kindest thing would be to let our boy go before things got any worse. By then, Starman was restless and obviously unhappy, wanting to get up and do something, but unable to stand. He would rest in our arms for a little while, then struggle and moan. It was unbearable. It's hard to believe that only a month ago he broke the front out of the starting box at Dorsey, IL, in his excitement to get at the "bunny". I couldn't let him go on so impaired and suffering.
So, we said our goodbyes to our beautiful boy, my special little man, my heart. I miss him so much! His personality was so big, such fun. The last few weeks after his injury were torture, with so many ups and downs. I so wish we could have ended with an "up". Now it's even worse, except that I know he isn't hurting. He was the sweetest dog I've ever known, so loving and trusting, and also such a funny boy. He sure loved racing, and was well-known for his antics at the lure and at the box. Those were the only times he was ever any trouble at all, but it was only because of his intense keeness. Bill and I are so proud to have bred and owned him, our Starman, Longrun's Silent Night, CRX-7, OTRM-3, pointed in WRA and ASFA, winner of the 2006 Bruiser (09/21/04 - 10/05/13). Winner of my heart.